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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

FUNNY QUOTES OF OSCAR WILDE...3

Football
Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but
not for delicate boys.

Genius
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
(at New York customs)                                                                                                                                                                   
Getting What You Want
In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not
getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
(Lady Windermere's Fan)


Good v Bad

The good ended happily,and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.
(The Importance of Being Earnest)

Happiness
When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.
(The Picture of Dorian Gray)

Health/Sickness
Ah, well, then, I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means.
(at mention of huge fee for surgical operation)

Hope
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
(Lady Windermere's Fan)

Hunting
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
(A Woman of No Importance)

Ignorance
Ignorance is like a delicate flower: touch it and the bloom is gone.
(The Importance of Being Earnest)

Inventions
It is only the unimaginative who ever invents. The true artist is known by the use he makes of what he annexes.
(Review May 1885)

Language
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
(The Canterville Ghost)

Last Words
One of us must go.
(Attributed)

Leisure
Cultivated leisure is the aim of man.
(Fortnightly Review)

Loss
To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
(The Importance of Being Earnest)

Love
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
(An Ideal Husband)
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It's a thing no married man knows anything about.
Women love men for their defects; if men have enough of them women will forgive them everything, even their gigantic intellects.

Lower Classes, Good Example and Losing Relations
Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?
(The Importance of Being Earnest)

The extraordinary thing about the lower classes in England is that they are always losing their relations. They are extremely fortunate in that respect.

Oscar Wilde quotes Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6


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