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Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing. (Vince Lombardi)
Serious
sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with
hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the
rules. (George Orwell)
Serious
sport is war minus the shooting. (George Orwell)
A
computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for
me at kick boxing. (Emo Philips)
Remember,
it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters
is whether I win or lose. (Darrin Weinberg)
Modern
rugby players like to get their retaliation in first. (Kim
Fletcher)
Last
time we got a penalty away from home, Christ was still a
carpenter. (Lennie Lawrence)
Miscellaneous
It's
not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say,
but the way I say it. (Mae West)
Another
fine mess you're gotten me into. (Stan Laurel)
History
is more or less bunk. (Henry Ford)
The
realisation that one is to be hanged in the morning concentrates
the mind wonderfully. (Samuel Johnson)
Never
give a sucker an even break. (W.C. Fields)
If
it ain't broke, don't fix it. (Bert Lance)
Go
ahead, make my day. (Clint Eastwood)
The
reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. (Mark
Twain)
When
the going gets tough, the tough get going. (Joseph P. Kennedy)
I'm
fat, but I'm thin inside…there's a thin man inside
every fat man. (George Orwell)
Epitaph
for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. (George
S. Kaufman)
I
once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Some
men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and
some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. (Joseph Heller)
Do
the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
(Mark Twain)
What
do I think of Western civilisation? I think it would be
a very good idea. (Mahatma Ghandi)
Whatever
is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard
pie…A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. (George
Orwell)
It's
not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on. (Marilyn
Monroe, asked if she really had nothing on in a calendar
photograph)
Chanel
No. 5. (Marilyn Monroe, asked what she wore in bed)
Funny
quotes Pages
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