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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

News
February 15, 2006
Big testicles equals tiny brains
by Gulliver

Ladies, we know you're known it for thousands of years, but now it's official. Big testicles equals tiny brains.

A recent study of bats has shown that shown that nature forces the males of a species to make a biological trade-off between brains and sperm.

Due to the high energy demands of both, males cannot generate large amounts of both.

The discovery of the link between testicle and brain size was made by scientists from Syracuse University in New York, who studied more than 300 species of bats.

Some female bat species are unusually promiscuous, so males evolved enormous testicles to compete with suitors - but at the expense of brain capacity.

In less promiscuous species, in which the female is guarded by a single partner, male bats had relatively large brains.

The research team, led by Dr Scott Pitnick, believe this phenomenon is explained by their "expensive tissue" hypothesis.

"Because relatively large brains are metabolically costly to develop and maintain, changes in brain size may be accompanied by compensatory changes in other expensive tissues," wrote Dr Pitnick in a scientific journal.

The researchers believe this theory would explain the brains/sperm trade-off found in bats.

But intelligent men should not despair over the size of their manhood. Science may think it has settled the argument about size mattering, but the debate about quality over quantity still rages on.

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